So i just realized that its 21 days before the new year and i have soooo much to be thankful for this whole year. I kno this is loves journey me and my bf is still goin strong. I wish more for us. I wish better for him. I want 2011 to be his year to do whateva he needs to get shit done cuz i kno 2011 ima stop fckn around in school (i purposely missed my math exam. I made a fckn 30 on my exam. Wtf.)

i love him so much i want the best for him. Honestly.

Christmas card

You have a Picture Mail from shanaedreher@pm.sprint.com

Message: Twas the night before Christmas When all through the house Not a creature was stirrin Not even a mouse Mom at the whore house Dad smokin grass I just settled down for a nice piece of ass When out on the lawn I heard a big clatter I sprung from my piece to see what was the matter When out on the lawn i saw a big dick I knew right then it must be Saint Nick He come down the chimney like a bat out of hell I knew at that moment the fucker had fell He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer And a big rubber dick 4 my brother the queer He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart The fat fucker blew my chimney apart He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight To hell with u all Im gettin some pussy 2 night!!!! Seasons greetings Moneys short Times r hard Heres ur fucking Christmas card..   View Entire Message Send and receive Pictures and Videos through Picture MailSM. For more information go to www.sprint.com/picturemail.

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well i thought he was cheating on me. so his friend comes and asks if he is going to Naomi house. i guess they was trying to hook him up with Naomi sister and Charles had told him that he was dumb as hell becuz "u kno i have my gf here with me and i told u that i dont even like mandy like that. like, wtf is goin on through ur head" and i guess Mandy got mad and put on his facebook that he is a liar and that all the girls that are sexually involved with him needs to get checked out and that he says he goin to break up wit his GF but wont do it and called him a bitch and i guess that was why he was so mad that morning that he went outside wit my phone and called up there mom and told them that they was doing crack/powder.




so Stokes and his girlfriend Paige came to the yard i went to the bathroom all of a sudden, all hell breaks loose and Paige i guess attempted to hit Charles and then they callin him fake becuz he snitched on them and Mandy was broken hearted so she was trying to make it seem like he was cheating on me. im like wow when he was telling me this. so then he came to my house and blahblahblah.



(SN: I got fckd up.i was high as shit and drunk as hell on Saturday night. Continuing...)



so today. omg.



he was tellin me that he loved me and didnt want to lose me to nothing stupid and doesnt want anybody coming between us. im like, i dont have anyone trying to ruin my relationship. thats ur friends. and then .... the sex... was great. smh. like... im shaking my head. becuz it makes me not want to leave more and more and more and i feel like i am getting clingy so like... idk. like... i got a test at 12:30 but i already kno i have an F in that class so aint no point in me taking that test i shud take it but i dont want to be stuck at the school so i'd rather take my last 3 tests. Friday Monday and Tuesday and then go home. i miiss him sooo much.



and then he gon try to tell me that we aint ready for kids (which i kno that) lol. and then asked me how i felt about it i said idk. he said "see we both iffy and yet we still do dumb shit like attempt to have a kid" lol. and then tells me that my stomach is tightenin up and i might be pregnant but i dont think so. so... ima need to take another pregnancy test.



and im soooo scared becuz if i am. idk what ima do. .... idk what ima do. at all. like.. i was drinking and smoking. im starting off bad!

I love him soooo much. I honestly do. Its like wen i think hes gone and not thinkin bout me. He pops up and lets me kno he still thinkin bout me misses me and loves me but i knoooo he doesnt as much as i love him. I feel like we are meant to be together and i can truly say that u always go thru hard times before u get to the good times.

<3 Charles N Shanae <3

but sumtimes.... It gets overwhelming

Im in love;; all his <3

"I wish i had time to get to kno u but i dont. I wish i cud be here in the morning but i wont. So lets get it in boy." - Lloyd feat 50 cent.

So, my last post tlkd bout how i had changed my mind bout this pregnancy ordeal but uhhhh..... He ended up doin it again. It felt so right and wrong at the same time. Like, i already had a dream i was tellin everyone i was pregnant but dmn. Idk what ima do now. Like my period comes on this weekend and this happened this morning (monday) so...... Idk.

I wish i had a pregnant persons help. I love him sooo much, i truly do. But i dont want to have a baby and not be able to take care of it. Ya kno, i already have my doubts.

And he can be sooo sweet i remember waking up sweating (nasties) cuz the heat was on and i cudnt breathe. Then he told me to move to the other side and then... (ok ok we had sex but after that he told his mom to turn it down).

I just wish i knew what he was thinkin. He be tellin me he miss me and be thinkin bout me a lot more than he used to and his mom always ask about me.
Then he says she never do that for any of his gfs and im the only one that she likes.

I think i told yall this before. main point.

I feel like im in love. I love him so much but i be feeling like he be doin other things. U kno, lack of communication makes me crazy but usually wen we see each other, its all gud.

And i notice i take my anger out on everybody i dnt be meanin to.

And then, also.... I might also switch to tumbler and get off blogger. Idk, i gtta decide on it.

Court tomorrow, home wednesday. Period this week :( but food and pie and more food :)

He sent me a txt saying that he hopes that no matter how hard life gets, he jux wants us to be happy. Idk what made him say that but its nice for him to think about. Since he is so worried about our future. I love this man, no doubt.

Unpredictable sometimes. :)
--PointBlankk

Its been a couple months and u have missed a lot. Well, not a lot. Uhmm.... First off. We attempted to have a kid then me and him (after doing it) had 2nd thoughts about it, and I'm not pregnant but I don't plan on becoming pregnant anytime soon. its almost the end of the year and I feel like I changed, truly changed, since the beginning of the year.

I feel loved, to an extent. I can't truly trust my bf. I want to but I feel like, if I can't talk to him on a regular basis then he doing something else and not thinking about me. Its so upsetting, I think about him all the time but most of the time, I don't think he thinks about me.

This past weekend was a pain, I have a shoulder strain so I have to take Naproxyn to soothe my pain. It works I'm jux really sleepy. Reallllly sleepy.

ER for 7 hours to get injected and my blood taken from me twice lol.

I almost got into a couple accidents with my mom. It wud be there fault becuz we had the right of way, EACH time. Tooo much for me. Can't do it.

I love him soooo much, idk if I'm ready to get married, but if he asks me I'm ready. :D
--PointBlankk