After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counsellor suggested they vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs from behind and off you go." The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home. "Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions. First, if it hurts you have to stop right away, and second..." she
continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my parents' house."

Sent from my iPod

A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" insisted the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Sent from my iPod

I kno I kno I kno. Before I even tell u u gon be like, wow.

Mann. Remember wen we broke up that whole month of july, well he messed wit this girl and now she's pregnant. By my bf! Omg.

How is everyone getting pregnant besides me, that's what I want to know like omg. I hate this, I feel like I'm not fertile. All these 1niters and omg they r preggo but I think that Charles cheated becuz he tlkn bout a month and some change. So, what argument was we in........ I understand july but I kno wen august came. He was all for me.

Cnt keep his dic in his pants.

And then, omg. I tld him that I dnt think ima ever have a kid cuz he already gnna have one and I was soo hoping for it but nvm and then I was hoping that it wud be by the end of this year and I don't kno what we r gnna do.

He was tlkn bout everything is going to stay the same and he didn't want to lose me that he wud go crazy if he lost me and that he hopes its not his and then his mom is mad at him and had cussed him out about it and I was like awww I wuda done it to if it wasn't out of my character.

And then he tlkn bout me and him can still have kids and stuff but it wudnt even be right if I can't have his first kid like we been tlkn bout since forever and my stomach, I got the munchies like real baddd.

I'm not going to break up with him but I'm just thinking, if its not meant for me to have a kid, then its not. :( :( :(
--PointBlankk

Its always that one friend, that is foreign that confuses u.
--PointBlankk

My mom is out of jail. Woohoo but I have the weirdest alcohol aftermath and I feel sooooo sick.

Nvr gettin buzzed again.

--PointBlankk

My mom is in jail and I'm taking it really hard only becuz my dad is finna annoy the shit out of me and I just can't take it.

If I hear another "she's lying" ima flip out. 2 yrs ima go thru this, I'm 19 not 5.
--PointBlankk