we was talking again. And he was talking about the letter. Talking about how he know where im coming from and that i shouldnt feel that someone is going to take him away from me cuz he already made his mind up about being with me and he shud have let it go just fly by but he didnt. ( A whole story for another post. No im tired of tlkn bout her and her sister.)
anywhoo. He kept tlkn bout the things i pointed out. The fact that he undderstands how i feel. How when i said that i know its impossible for him to love me more than i love him. He wasnt even going to argue with that. He said that he knows thats true because of all the shit that he had put me thru, im still here. I havent left. Not even when it was the worse situation possible im still here. And he knows that he put me thru a lot. He doesnt understand y im here, i dnt kno y i stayed. So many times i wanted to leave but i didnt cuz i thought he wud change. He told me he had mad respect for me because of that and if im willing to go thru that then im willing to go thru anything.
Then started tlkn bout he was in love with me, everytime he turn the ipod on and see my face he cant help but smile and wait for me to come Home. How he dont want to lose me to crazy bitches and he said she said. That he loves how much his mom likes me and how i make him feel. That i seemed to turn his world around that im basically his life and he wants to do better to show me that he has matured a lot from the past.
I see it. He sees it. That he know he changed and so did his mindset. That he cant go one day without thinking of me. the whole time he was saying this all i cud think bout was him telling me that he was in love with me over and over again and i cudnt stop smiling for the whole hr i was on the phone. I didnt even kno the phone rung. I jux picked it up and said hello like im wide awake but crazy how anyone else call me i wudnt hear the phone ring but when he call me (either his mom or sister or aunt phone) i pick up. None of em are saved in my contacts.
I miss him so much i jux want to see him so bad. I want this thing to just fly by so i can go back to the old us just more mature. Where it seemed like nothing can stop us from being together but i didnt think someone wud literally chase after a dude 2 yrs younger than them. I found my man, go find your own.
Even thinking about the past still hurts but i can trust him. I can, its just im scared and he knows that. Wen i first met him, i didnt even think it was going to last this long. a year is a lot to me. I didnt think he wud be this damn important in my life, nor be apart of me. I cant hate other ppl for being in happy relationships wen i was single, becuz they found who they wanted to get married to and still with them 6 years later.
I want a love like that. I want an anniversary where itll be our 70th and whateva award u get for it. I want to be the 80 yr old couples that still hang out and watch movies together.
Its so much about him and what he said that makes me not regret sticking with him. I never regretted it in the first place, i knew what i was getting into. But when they say everyone deserves a second chance... I see why. Cuz some proves to be the one that can change for better and not for worse.
Love is love, and it feels so dmn good to be in it. Especially if they love you back the same way.
Not bullshittin bout it, like true genuine love. the ones u see off the movies. :)
Im jux in a happier mood. My week is brightening up.
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